Three weeks.
That's all it took.
Three weeks for someone to cross a line that, until Sunday, had never been crossed in The Sunday Syndicate.
And naturally, the first person to do it was Brad.
The same Brad who entered Week 3 0-2. The same Brad whose highly regarded startup roster had produced exactly zero fucking wins.
Apparently he had heard enough.
Because Brad didn't just get his first win. He scored 203.28 points, broke David's two-week-old league scoring record, and beat Stephen by 74.54.
Elsewhere, Kyle continued his transformation from Week 1 fraud to legitimate psychopath, David and Jason quietly moved to 3-0, Jesse confirmed that his Week 1 disaster may have been a clerical error, and Chris's rebuild remains right on schedule for a year that has not yet been determined.
But first... we need to examine a murder.
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
Week 1: Brad scores 132.70. Loss.
Week 2: Brad scores 124.48. Loss.
Week 3:
Apparently Brad's team spent the first two weeks fucking around with the difficulty settings.
And this wasn't one player carrying him, either. Look at this lineup:
Bijan Robinson — 39.30
Trevor Lawrence — 26.78
Kenyon Sadiq — 25.00
Garrett Wilson — 24.20
James Cook — 22.90
Tee Higgins — 19.50
Davante Adams — 19.20
Pat Bryant — 13.90
Malik Willis — 11.00
Kyle Pitts — 1.50.
Amazing.
Brad scored 203.28 points while Kyle Pitts contributed 1.5.
Everyone else arrived carrying assault rifles. Kyle Pitts brought a fucking pool noodle.
Five starters cleared 20 points. Tee Higgins and Davante Adams nearly made it seven.
Brad didn't have a good fantasy week. Brad had an organizational event.
And standing directly underneath it when the bomb went off was Stephen.
WE WOULD LIKE TO ISSUE A CORRECTION
In Week 1, Kyle scored 129.18, the second-lowest score in the league, and won.
We called him a thief. We questioned the roster. We questioned the legitimacy of the victory. We implied that his 1-0 record was essentially stolen property.
We would now like to issue the following correction:
Week 2: 163.18 — highest score in the league.
Week 3: 183.90.
Kyle has scored 347.08 points over the last two weeks.
And this week he beat George by 70.06 points.
George didn't lose a fantasy matchup. George experienced a natural disaster.
And somehow Kyle had another 26.26 points sitting on his bench. Twenty-six points. Didn't need them. That's disgusting.
George, meanwhile, has developed a slightly concerning trend: 145.74 → 133.48 → 113.84.
George. Brother. The numbers are supposed to go the other fucking direction.
THE BASEMENT HAS BEEN ABANDONED
Two weeks ago, Jesse scored 124.86 points. Worst score in the league.
We gave him the basement. We told him trash pickup was Tuesday. Apparently he never unpacked.
Week 2: 161.36.
Week 3: 160.58.
Back-to-back 160-point weeks. What the fuck?
Joe Burrow dropped 29.08. George Kittle gave him 28.20. And 38-year-old Matthew Stafford continued his personal vendetta against this newsletter with another 25.90.
Turns out the guy we roasted during the startup draft for assembling the 2019 Pro Bowl may have actually known what he was doing. At least for the moment.
Carl, meanwhile, had a very good week: 148.02. Unfortunately for Carl, Jesse had a better one.
But there is one development we need to address. Brock Purdy scored 39.78 fantasy points.
For almost any fantasy manager, this would simply be an excellent quarterback performance. For Carl, this is evidence for the prosecution.
Every Brock Purdy argument Carl has ever made has now been retroactively validated in his own mind. The screenshots have already been saved. The group chat is no longer safe.
We created Talk Purdy To Me as a joke. The joke has escaped containment.
IS ANYONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT JASON?
Jason's scores: 164.04. 150.50. 159.22.
Record: 3-0.
This motherfucker has quietly averaged 157.92 points per week and somehow avoided becoming the main story every single time.
David scores 192. Headline. Josh Allen scores 49.82 and Stephen loses. Headline. Brad scores 203. Headline.
Meanwhile Jason just shows up every Sunday, scores somewhere between 150 and 165, kills whoever happens to be standing across from him, and leaves.
No drama. No bullshit. Just bodies.
Chris was this week's body.
And Chris's beautiful young dynasty has now reached an exciting milestone: 0-3.
The good news is Chris scored 132.16, a substantial improvement over last week's 105.06. The bad news is that's the type of sentence you write about a rebuilding NFL franchise.
“There were encouraging signs despite the loss.”
Wonderful. Put it on the banner.
COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE MAKE THIS ASSHOLE HAVE A BAD WEEK?
Apparently not.
David: 192.00 → 152.86 → 154.10.
That's 498.96 points through three weeks. Average: 166.32.
This week Jahmyr Gibbs scored 41.90, because apparently David needed more help.
Donald put up 141.58, which is a completely reasonable fantasy score. Didn't matter.
David has now scored 150+ every single week. This is becoming annoying.
The rest of the league keeps waiting for the inevitable dud. The week where the matchups suck. The touchdowns don't come. A couple players disappear. David scores 118. We all laugh.
Three weeks in... still fucking waiting.
THE OLD BASTARDS ARE STILL HANGING AROUND
Guy bounced back from 120.18 in Week 2 with 147.56 and moved to 2-1.
We've spent plenty of time questioning how long this older roster can keep producing. So far, Guy's answer has basically been: Long enough to keep beating people.
There wasn't one absurd 40-point performance carrying him this week. The lineup just kept producing enough across the board until Levi was dead.
And now Guy is sitting at 2-1, which is becoming increasingly inconvenient for everyone waiting for this thing to fall apart.
Levi, meanwhile: 151.68 → 125.36 → 117.16.
Oh no.
That's three straight weeks moving in the wrong direction.
After opening the season looking like the poster child for why Superflex matters, Levi has now spent two straight weeks discovering that having exciting quarterbacks does not automatically prevent the rest of your roster from collectively taking Sunday off.
At this pace, the SUPER FUCKING FLEX revolution may need a bailout.
And Now, an Update on Stephen
We need to revisit Stephen because a simple matchup recap doesn't adequately explain what is happening to this man.
Week 1: Stephen 141.32. Opponent 192.00. Loss.
Week 2: Stephen 143.64. Josh Allen 49.82. Opponent 150.50. Loss.
Week 3: Stephen 128.74. Opponent: 203.28. Loss.
Stephen's opponents have scored 545.78 points against him in three weeks. That's an average of 181.93 POINTS PER WEEK.
What the fuck is he supposed to do with that?
David nukes him. Then Jason gets him. Then Brad enters the matchup 0-2 and suddenly transforms into the 2013 Denver Broncos.
Stephen is 0-3. But this isn't normal 0-3.
Chris is 0-3. Chris can look at his team and ask some difficult questions.
Stephen needs to look toward the heavens and ask: “Why?”
Week 3 Awards
Brad — 203.28
David held this award for exactly two weeks. Brad has now taken it. First 200-point performance in league history. Congratulations. Please never do that again.
Kyle — 183.90
Week 1 we called the win fraudulent. Since then: 347.08 points. We retract our statement. We reserve the right to reinstate it immediately if Kyle scores 108 next week.
Matthew Stafford — 25.90
Stafford has now appeared in this section enough times that we're considering renaming the award after him. The 2019 Pro Bowl continues to produce for Jesse.
Carl — Brock Purdy, 39.78
Carl lost the matchup. Carl won something much more important: an entire week of being able to say “I fucking told you.” Thoughts and prayers to the group chat.
Stephen
Opponent scoring average: 181.93. There are federal witness protection programs with less urgency than Stephen currently requires.
George — 113.84
Chris escaped. Jesse escaped. The basement has a new tenant. George, the refrigerator makes a weird noise at night. Don't worry about it.
Through Three Weeks
The undefeated:
David — 3-0 — 498.96 points
Kyle — 3-0 — 476.26 points
Jason — 3-0 — 473.76 points
The 2-1 crowd:
Jesse — 2-1 — 446.80 points
Guy — 2-1 — 411.90 points
Then comes the beautiful 1-2 mess:
Brad — 1-2 — 460.46 points
Carl — 1-2 — 430.16 points
Donald — 1-2 — 418.92 points
Levi — 1-2 — 394.20 points
George — 1-2 — 393.06 points
And finally:
Stephen — 0-3 — 413.70 points
Chris — 0-3 — 370.16 points
Stephen has scored more points than two 1-2 teams and 43.54 more than Chris. Same number of wins as Chris: zero.
Fantasy football is a fair and reasonable game.
The Week 3 Power Index
Brad went from 10th in Week 2 to 1st in Week 3. Kyle has finished 1st or 2nd in consecutive weeks. Jesse has followed his Week 1 dead-last performance with finishes of 2nd and 3rd.
And George has finally completed the journey Jesse began three weeks ago. Welcome to 12th.
Three Weeks In
David is a fucking problem.
Jason may be an even bigger problem than we're giving him credit for.
Kyle's Week 1 fraud case has been dismissed.
Brad has apparently discovered the nuclear codes.
Jesse's 2019 Pro Bowl has risen from the dead and is currently 2-1.
Guy's older roster keeps hanging around and winning games.
Donald is 1-2 despite another respectable scoring week.
Carl received the Brock Purdy performance of his dreams and still lost.
Levi's Superflex revolution has hit some turbulence.
George is moving rapidly in the wrong direction.
Chris remains committed to the long game.
And Stephen...
Stephen has spent three Sundays standing in the middle of the highway wondering why every fucking truck keeps choosing his lane.
Three weeks is still a tiny sample. There is plenty of season left.
Brad was 0-2 twenty-four hours ago and now owns the highest score in league history. Jesse was dead last after Week 1 and has scored 160 in back-to-back weeks.
Things change quickly.
But there is one thing dynasty guarantees:
And Brad just wrote the first 203.28 into it.
Week 3 is in the books.
See you next Sunday.