League Tradition No. 1
The Combine
Bench press. 40-yard dash. Two beers. Basketball shot. Football throw. Trivia. Draft-position choice was earned the stupid way.
1:01.9
Stephen
Combine champion and owner of a 24.6-second margin over second place.
0.6 sec
David vs. Jesse
The closest meaningful battle near the top.
0.5 sec
Carl vs. Chris
The closest meaningless battle near the bottom.
Official Results
2026 Standings
| Place | Manager | Time |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Stephen | 1:01.9 |
| 2 | David | 1:26.5 |
| 3 | Jesse | 1:27.1 |
| 4 | George | 1:37.2 |
| 5 | Guy | 1:55.3 |
| 6 | Brad | 1:58.9 |
| 7 | Kyle | 2:01.3 |
| 8 | Carl | 2:12.8 |
| 9 | Chris | 2:13.3 |
| DNS | Levi | DNS |
| DNS | Donald | DNS |
| DNS | Jason | DNS |
“The NFL evaluates elite athletes. We evaluated grown men trying not to throw up.”